Famous Wilson Mizner Quotations

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"The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away."
by Wilson Mizner
"Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave."
by Wilson Mizner
"I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at."
by Wilson Mizner
"The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep."
by Wilson Mizner
"A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions."
by Wilson Mizner
"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something."
by Wilson Mizner
"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but, after a while, knows something"
by Wilson Mizner
"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after awhile he gets to know something."
by Wilson Mizner
"Always be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet the same people on the way down."
by Wilson Mizner
"Failure has gone to his head."
by Wilson Mizner
"Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something."
by Wilson Mizner
"God help those who do not help themselves."
by Wilson Mizner
"He's a trellis for varicose veins."
by Wilson Mizner
"He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup."
by Wilson Mizner
"Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton."
by Wilson Mizner
"I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your effort to believe it."
by Wilson Mizner
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education."
by Wilson Mizner
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education."
by Wilson Mizner
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education."
by Wilson Mizner
"I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile."
by Wilson Mizner
"Life is a tough proposition and the first hundred years are the hardest."
by Wilson Mizner
"Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest."
by Wilson Mizner
"Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen 'Hey, you'"
by Wilson Mizner
"Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time."
by Wilson Mizner
"Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor unassisted"
by Wilson Mizner
"The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book."
by Wilson Mizner
"The worst-tempered people I've ever met were the people who knew they were wrong."
by Wilson Mizner
"Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up."
by Wilson Mizner
"To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady."
by Wilson Mizner
"When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it's research."
by Wilson Mizner
"When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism but when you take it from many writers, it's research."
by Wilson Mizner
"You sparkle with larceny."
by Wilson Mizner
"You're a mouse studying to be a rat."
by Wilson Mizner
"A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant."
by Wilson Mizner
"Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down."
by Wilson Mizner
"A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something."
by Wilson Mizner
"Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down."
by Wilson Mizner
"There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger."
by Wilson Mizner
"The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong."
by Wilson Mizner


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