Famous Ogden Nash Quotations

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"Whether elected or appointed he considers himself the Lord's anointed, and indeed the ointment lingers on him so thick you can't get your fingers on him."
by Ogden Nash
"I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."
by Ogden Nash
"If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work."
by Ogden Nash
"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."
by Ogden Nash
"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."
by Ogden Nash
"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."
by Ogden Nash
"[In discussing the poem which now might be considered] politically incorrect, ... . . . people felt that way in 1933."
by Ogden Nash
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of"
by Ogden Nash
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."
by Ogden Nash
"Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker."
by Ogden Nash
"Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."
by Ogden Nash
"He without benefit of scruples His fun and money soon quadruples."
by Ogden Nash
"I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine."
by Ogden Nash
"I don't mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it."
by Ogden Nash
"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them."
by Ogden Nash
"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets"
by Ogden Nash
"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."
by Ogden Nash
"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else"
by Ogden Nash
"Nietsche is Pietsche.'"
by Ogden Nash
"Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave When they think that their children are nave."
by Ogden Nash
"One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence"
by Ogden Nash
"People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it."
by Ogden Nash
"Progress might have been all right once, but it went on too long."
by Ogden Nash
"Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long."
by Ogden Nash
"Progress might have been all right once but it has gone on too long."
by Ogden Nash
"Progress may have been all right once, but it has gone on too long"
by Ogden Nash
"The camel has a single hump;/ The dromedary, two;/ Or else the other way around./ I'm never sure. Are you?"
by Ogden Nash
"The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher,
Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
Do I want one? God Forbiddie!"
by Ogden Nash
"The Pig, if I am not mistaken,
Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon.
Let others say his heart is big,
I think it stupid of the Pig."
by Ogden Nash
"The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat."
by Ogden Nash
"Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around"
by Ogden Nash
"To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it Whenever you're right, shut up."
by Ogden Nash
"Too clever is dumb."
by Ogden Nash
"When there are monsters there are miracles."
by Ogden Nash
"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely"
by Ogden Nash
"Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot."
by Ogden Nash
"Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker."
by Ogden Nash
"They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball."
by Ogden Nash
"If some confectioners were willing To let the shape announce the filling, We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs, Bitten into and returned to the box."
by Ogden Nash
"There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all."
by Ogden Nash
"I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it."
by Ogden Nash
"The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control."
by Ogden Nash
"Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope."
by Ogden Nash
"Some primal termite knocked on wood; and tasted it, and found it good. That is why your Cousin May fell through the parlor floor today."
by Ogden Nash
"A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable."
by Ogden Nash
"To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up."
by Ogden Nash
"Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open."
by Ogden Nash
"If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate."
by Ogden Nash
"The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift."
by Ogden Nash
"Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?"
by Ogden Nash
"Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!"
by Ogden Nash
"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, And that's what parents were created for."
by Ogden Nash
"Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs."
by Ogden Nash
"Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation."
by Ogden Nash
"Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year."
by Ogden Nash
"The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin."
by Ogden Nash
"Indoors or out, no one relaxes In March, that month of wind and taxes, The wind will presently disappear, The taxes last us all year."
by Ogden Nash
"It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts, That all sin is divided into two parts...."
by Ogden Nash
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."
by Ogden Nash


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