Famous Douglas Adams Quotations

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"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
by Douglas Adams
"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
by Douglas Adams
"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."
by Douglas Adams
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
by Douglas Adams
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."
by Douglas Adams
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
by Douglas Adams
"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
by Douglas Adams
"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."
by Douglas Adams
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
by Douglas Adams
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
by Douglas Adams
"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair."
by Douglas Adams
"When you blame others, you give up your power to change."
by Douglas Noel Adams
"A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about. (from Mostly Harmless)"
by Douglas Noel Adams
"A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."
by Douglas Adams
"Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of."
by Douglas Adams
"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job"
by Douglas Adams
"Cyberspace is - or can be - a good, friendly and egalitarian place to meet."
by Douglas Adams
"Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart."
by Douglas Adams
"Funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does."
by Douglas Noel Adams
"He attacked everything in life with a mix of extrordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which."
by Douglas Adams
"Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner."
by Douglas Adams
"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
by Douglas Adams
"I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis"
by Douglas Adams
"I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously."
by Douglas Adams
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
by Douglas Adams
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
by Douglas Adams
"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by"
by Douglas Adams
"I think the idea of art kills creativity"
by Douglas Adams
"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands."
by Douglas Noel Adams
"If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands"
by Douglas Adams
"If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news"
by Douglas Noel Adams
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea."
by Douglas Adams
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
by Douglas Adams
"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri."
by Douglas Adams
"It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
by Douglas Adams
"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."
by Douglas Adams
"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes"
by Douglas Adams
"It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear."
by Douglas Adams
"It's no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an airport' appear."
by Douglas Noel Adams
"It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end."
by Douglas Adams
"Life is wasted on the living."
by Douglas Adams
"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast."
by Douglas Adams
"Man has always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much-the wheel, New York, wars and so on-while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man-for precisely the same reason."
by Douglas Noel Adams
"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes."
by Douglas Noel Adams
"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefor excused from saving Universes."
by Douglas Adams
"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws"
by Douglas Adams
"Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."
by Douglas Adams
"One of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them: It is a well known fact, that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job. Another problem with governing people is people."
by Douglas Adams
"See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise you will only see what you were expecting. Most scientists forget that."
by Douglas Adams
"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space."
by Douglas Adams
"Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space."
by Douglas Noel Adams
"The art of flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
by Douglas Adams
"The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he, by peddling second-rate technology, who led them into it in the first place."
by Douglas Adams
"The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79....."
by Douglas Noel Adams
"The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79."
by Douglas Adams
"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair."
by Douglas Adams
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
by Douglas Adams
"There are two things in particular that it [the computer industry] failed to foresee: one was the coming of the Internet(...); the other was the fact that the century would end."
by Douglas Adams
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
by Douglas Adams
"There is a particular disdain with which Siamese cats regard you. Anyone who has walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will be familiar with the feeling."
by Douglas Adams
"This is an important announcement. This is flight 121 to Los Angeles. If your travel plans today do not include Los Angeles, now would be a perfect time to disembark."
by Douglas Adams
"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."
by Douglas Adams
"Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so."
by Douglas Adams
"Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so."
by Douglas Adams
"To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem."
by Douglas Adams
"Totally mad. Utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense."
by Douglas Noel Adams
"You can't dodge your responsibilities by saying they don't exist"
by Douglas Noel Adams
"You live and learn. At any rate, you live."
by Douglas Adams
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"
by Douglas Adams
"People will then often say, But surely it's better to remain an Agnostic just in case?' This, to me, suggests such a level of silliness and muddle that I usually edge out of the conversation rather than get sucked into it. (If it turns out that I've been wrong all along, and there is in fact a god, and if it further turned out that this kind of legalistic, cross-your-fingers-behind-your-back, Clintonian hair-splitting impressed him, then I think I would choose not to worship him anyway.)"
by Douglas Adams
"For thousands more years the mighty ships tore across the empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming on to the first planet they came across--which happened to be the Earth -- where due to a terribble miscalculation of scale the entire battle fleet was accidently swallowed by a small dog"
by Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which states that this has already happened."
by Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
by Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"One of the problems of taking things apart and seeing how they work - supposing you're trying to find out how a cat works--you take that cat apart to see how it works, what you've got in your hands is a non-working cat. The cat wasn't a sort of clunky mechanism that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis."
by Douglas Adams
"What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer."
by Douglas Adams
"First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII -- and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure."
by Douglas Adams
"Even though Mac Users may be only 10% of the market, always remember that we are the TOP 10%"
by Douglas Adams
"One always overcompensates for disabilities. I'm thinking of having my entire body surgically removed."
by Douglas Adams
"The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and immediately pretend they haven t. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing each other the whole length of the corridor."
by Douglas Adams
"Or, at least, one-tenth of the cabin trunks were full of vivid and often painful and uncomfortable memories of her past life; the other nine-tenths were full of penguins, which suprised her. Insofar as she recognized at all that she was dreaming, she realized she must be exploring her own subconscious mind. She had heard it said that humans are supposed to use only about a tenth of their brains, and that no one was very clear what the other nine tenths were for, but she certainly never heard it suggested that they were used for storing penguins."
by Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
by Douglas Adams
"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
by Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for the Fish
"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea..."
by Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"I love deadlines, especially the whooshing sound they make as they go by."
by Douglas Adams
"If you want to survive in life, you've got to know where your towel is."
by Douglas Adams
"One of the problems has to do with the speed of light and the difficulties involved in trying to exceed it. You can't. Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. The Hingefreel people of Arkintoofle Minor did try to build spaceships that were powered by bad news but they didn't work particularly well and were so extremely unwelcome whenever they arrived anywhere that there wasn't really any point in being there."
by Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
"Man has always assumed that he is more intelligent than dolphins because he has achieved so much--the wheel, New York, wars and so on -- while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But, conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man -- for precisely the same reasons."
by Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for the Fish
"Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much... the wheel, New York, wars, and so on, whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely the dolphins believed themselves to be more intelligent than man for precisely the same reasons."
by Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"The only way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your fingers down his throat."
by Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"The first thing to realize about parallel universes... is that they are not parallel. It is also important to realize that they are not, strictly speaking, universes either, but it is easiest if you don't try to realize it until a little later, after you've realized that everything you've realized up to that moment is not true."
by Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
"That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting"
by Marvin's first ever compliment about anybody, in Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much--the wheel, New York, wars and so on--while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man--for precisely the same reasons."
by Douglas Adams
"So, my argument is that as we become more and more scientifically literate, it"
by Douglas Adams
"To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity."
by Douglas Adams
"It is known that there is an infinite number of worlds, but that not every one is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite nuber of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so if every planet in the Universe has a populations of zero then the entire population of the Universe must also be zero, and any people you may actually meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination."
by Douglas Adams


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