Famous Dorothy Parker Quotations

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"She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."
by Dorothy Parker
"If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
by Dorothy Parker
"Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants."
by Dorothy Parker
"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea And love is a thing that can never go wrong And I am Marie of Roumania."
by Dorothy Parker
"Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses."
by Dorothy Parker
"'Coolidge is dead'
'How could they tell?"
by Dorothy Parker
"A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika."
by Dorothy Parker
"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."
by Dorothy Parker
"Brevity is the soul of lingerie"
by Dorothy Parker
"By whom?"
by Dorothy Parker
"By the time you say you’re his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying – Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying."
by Dorothy Parker
"Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you."
by Dorothy Parker
"Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants"
by Dorothy Parker
"Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt"
by Dorothy Parker
"Hell's afloat in lover's tears."
by Dorothy Rothschild Parker
"His voice was a intimate as the rustle of sheets."
by Dorothy Parker
"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it."
by Dorothy Parker
"I don't care what is written about me, so long as it isn't true"
by Dorothy Parker
"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things."
by Dorothy Parker
"I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound - if I can remember any of the damn things"
by Dorothy Parker
"I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid."
by Dorothy Parker
"I went to a convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion."
by Dorothy Parker
"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more."
by Dorothy Parker
"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more"
by Dorothy Parker
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
by Dorothy Parker
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised"
by Dorothy Parker
"If all the girls who attended the Harvard-Yale game were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised."
by Dorothy Parker
"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away."
by Dorothy Rothschild Parker
"Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses."
by Dorothy Parker
"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania."
by Dorothy Parker
"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania."
by Dorothy Parker
"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania."
by Dorothy Parker
"Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; Drugs cause cramp; Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You may as well live."
by Dorothy Parker
"She looks like something that would eat its young."
by Dorothy Parker (about Dame Edith Evans)
"She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B."
by Dorothy Parker (about Katharine Hepburn)
"Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves."
by Dorothy Parker
"Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves"
by Dorothy Parker
"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
by Dorothy Parker
"That woman speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any one of them"
by Dorothy Parker
"That woman speaks eight languages and can't say 'no' in any of them."
by Dorothy Parker
"The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature."
by Dorothy Parker
"The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires."
by Dorothy Parker
"The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires."
by Dorothy Parker
"The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires"
by Dorothy Parker
"The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant --- and let the air out of their tires."
by Dorothy Parker
"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue"
by Dorothy Parker
"The only 'ism' hollywood believes in is plagiarism."
by Dorothy Parker
"The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe"
by Dorothy Rothschild Parker
"The two most beautiful words in the English language are check enclosed."
by Dorothy Parker
"The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.' by"
by Dorothy Parker
"They sicken of the calm who know the storm"
by Dorothy Parker
"They sicken of the calm that know the storm."
by Dorothy Parker
"This is on me."
by Dorothy Parker
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
by Dorothy Parker
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force"
by Dorothy Parker
"This is not a book that should be tossed lightly aside. It should be hurled with great force."
by Dorothy Parker
"This is not a book that should be cast aside lightly. It should be thrown away with great force."
by Dorothy Parker
"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it"
by Dorothy Parker
"To those she did not like . . . she was a stiletto made of sugar."
by John Mason Brown (about Dorothy Parker)
"Trapped, like a trap in a trap."
by Dorothy Parker
"You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think."
by Dorothy Parker
"They sicken at the calm that know the storm."
by Dorothy Parker
"Art is a form of catharsis."
by Dorothy Parker
"Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you."
by Dorothy Parker
"Razors pain you Rivers are damp Acids stain you and drugs cause cramp Guns aren't lawful Nooses give Gas smells awful you might as well live"
by Dorothy Parker, Resume
"Time doth flit; Oh, shit."
by Dorothy Parker
"They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm."
by Dorothy Parker
"It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard."
by Dorothy Parker
"Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn, the word"
by Dorothy Parker
"Where's the man could ease a heart, like a satin gown?"
by Dorothy Parker
"Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair."
by Dorothy Parker
"They laid their hands upon my head, They stroked my cheek and brow; And time could heal a hurt, they said, And time could dim a vow. And they were pitiful and mild Who whispered to me then; The heart that breaks in April, child; Will mend in May again. Oh, many a mended heart they knew; So old they were, and wise. And little did they have to do To come to me with lies! Who flings me silly talk of May Shall meet a bitter soul; For June was nearly spent away Before my heart was whole."
by Dorothy Parker
"I can't talk about Hollywood. It was a horror to me when I was there and it's a horror to look back on. I can't imagine how I did it. When I got away from it I couldn't even refer to the place by name. Out there, I called it."
by Dorothy Parker
"Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are."
by Dorothy Parker
"Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."
by Dorothy Parker
"You can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think."
by Dorothy Parker
"I never thought that heav'n would lose its blue And sullen storm-clouds mask the gentle sky; I never thought the rose's velvet hue Would pale and sicken, though we said good-by. I never dreamed the lark would hush its note As day succeeded ever-drearier day, Nor knew the song that swelled the robin's throat Would fade to silence, when you went away. I never knew the sun's irradiant beams Upon the brooding earth no more would shine, Nor thought that only in my mocking dreams Would happiness that once I knew be mine. I never thought the slim moon, mournfully, Would shroud her pallid self in murky night. Dear heart, I never thought these things would be- I never thought they would, and I was right."
by Dorothy Parker
"Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you; And that cleans up the matter."
by Dorothy Parker
"I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid."
by Dorothy Parker
"He Robert Benchley and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery."
by Dorothy Parker
"Enjoyed it! One more drink and I'd have been under the host."
by Dorothy Parker
"Drink, and dance and laugh and lie, love the reeling midnight through, for tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)"
by Dorothy Parker
"All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don't catch horses going around looking like people, do you?"
by Dorothy Parker
"If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.'"
by Dorothy Parker
"Oh seek, my love, your newer way; I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday Go take your damned tomorrow!"
by Dorothy Parker
"This book is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force."
by Dorothy Parker
"Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion."
by Dorothy Parker
"Razors pain you; rivers are damp; acids stain you; and drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; nooses give; gas smells awful; you might as well live."
by Dorothy Parker
"It's not the tragedies that kill us, it's the messes."
by Dorothy Parker
"I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, After four I'm under my host!"
by Dorothy Parker
"Travel, trouble, music, art, A kiss, a frock, a rhyme - I never said they feed my heart, But still they pass my time."
by Dorothy Parker
"They sicken of the calm who know the storm."
by Dorothy Parker
"And there was that wholesale libel on a Yale prom. If all the girls attending it were laid end to end, Mrs. Parker said, she wouldn't be at al..."
by Dorothy Parker
"Money is only congealed snow."
by Dorothy Parker
"The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.'"
by Dorothy Parker


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