Famous Andy Rooney Quotations

"If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it."

by Andy Rooney

"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."

by Andy Rooney

"Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head."

by Andy Rooney

"It's paradoxial that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone."

by Andy Rooney

"Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose."

by Andy Rooney

"Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter.'"

by Andy Rooney

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. And then you die. What's that? A bonus? I think the life-cycle is all backwards. You should die first and get it all over with. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You get a gold watch. You go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol and party. You get ready for high school. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby & go back into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating... Then, you finish off as an orgasm. I like it."

by Andy Rooney

"Death is a distant rumor to the young."

by Andy Rooney

"Its paradoxical that the idea of living long appeals to everyone but no one wants to get old."

by Andy Rooney